Unrelenting

In their excellent book, Unchanging Witness, Professors Fortson and Grams spend a chapter recounting the capitulation of the numerous mainline denominations to the homosexual agenda, including the Episcopal Church and Evangelical Lutheran Church. But the account that caught my attention was the Presbyterian Church in the United States of America (PCUSA).

I am not an expert on the history of the PCUSA, but I believe there were serious issues, such as rejection of the authority of Scripture, rejection of the supernatural, and ordination of women, which preceded their acceptance of homosexuality. If true, their capitulation to the homosexuals was not a surprise. A denomination that ordains women is going to have a hard time barring the doors against homosexuals. Here is the timeline how the PCUSA moved to accepting gays, gay ministers, and eventually same sex marriage (Fortson and Grams p. 157-158):

1978-United Presbyterian Church in the USA adopts a policy forbidding the ordination of homosexuals, but allowing gays and lesbians into church membership.

1979-The Presbyterian Church in the US adopts a similar policy.

1983-These two denominations join to create the PCUSA. The policy from 1978 remains in force.

1983-1993 There was constant debate in the denomination about ordaining homosexuals. So much debate that in 1993 a ban was instituted to prevent the issue from being voted on for three years.

1997-Conservatives passed an amendment to the PCUSA constitution requiring candidates for ordination "to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between a man and woman, or chastity in singleness."  Liberals presented a substitute amendment which said, "fidelity and integrity in marriage or singleness." The substitute amendment by the liberals was defeated.

1998-Liberals again pushed for their substitute amendment. Again it was defeated though the votes grew closer. This happened again in 1999 and 2001. Each time the votes for the liberals grew.

2006-A PCUSA task force recommended allowing exceptions to the "fidelity and chastity" clause. This allowed homosexuals to be ordained.

2009-Again the liberals pushed for a vote to change the constitution. Again it was defeated though by the smallest margin yet.

2011-The language from 1997 was finally gotten rid of and openly gay persons could now be ordained to the ministry.

2014-The PCUSA approved a policy allowing pastors to perform same-sex marriages in states where the practice is legal. In that same year an additional vote was made that changed the definition of marriage from one and one woman to two persons. That passed by a 71% majority.

What I find fascinating is how "unrelenting" to use the authors' word, the pro-gay lobby was. They never stopped bringing up the votes. They found ways around official policy, such as the 2006 task force. They kept pushing and kept fighting until they got what they wanted.  I am sure this began long before 1978, but even from 1978-2014 is a pretty long time. It reminds me of what Edwin Friedman said in his excellent book Failure of Nerve. Pathogens do not stop. They will not stop. They must be cut out. Long before sodomy ever became an issue someone within these denominations compromised on basic Christian teaching. It may have been the authority of Scripture. It may have been human sexuality. It may have been the denial of the resurrection of our Lord. But they compromised and here is the key no one disciplined them for it. Maybe they disciplined them the first time and second time and third time, but eventually they stopped, eventually the good guys gave up.

In the previous chapter Fortson and Grams discuss all the denominations that remain faithful to the Scripture's teaching on homosexuality, such as the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA), the Evangelical Presbyterian Church (EPC), and Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS). I look at those denominations and my own, the Communion of Reformed Evangelicals (CREC), and I pray. I pray that we can hold fast. I pray that we have the stamina and backbone to fight. I pray that we have the courage of our brothers in Africa who stood up to the Anglican bishops who compromised. I pray that we are not afraid of being hated, cast out, and maligned. I pray that we can preach faithfully what the Word says. I pray we have the strength to excommunicate when necessary. I pray that our seminaries fire those who compromise. For we can be assured of this; the homosexuals will not stop. Their goal is not live and let live. Their goal is that churches everywhere accept them as true Christians no matter their sexual practices. For the sake of Christ, his sheep, and the lost we must be as unrelenting as they are. If not we will end up just like the PCUSA and the proverb will be fulfilled:

Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked. (Proverbs 25:26)

Did the Early Church Approve of Homosexuality?

Revising history has been one of the common ploys in the gay Christian movement. In particular John Boswell and former Jesuit priest John McNeill have written books that revise the history of the church to be more friendly to gays. These books have been used by gay Christians as proof that Christianity from it's earliest times was welcoming of homosexuals. Boswell even argues that same-sex unions were approved by Anselm. Their scholarship, if it can be called that, has been called into serious question time and time. Yet they are cited by gay Christians as proof that sodomy really has not been that big a deal in church history.

To combat this error Donald Fortson and Rollin Grams have written Unchanging Witness: The Consistent Christian Teaching on Homosexuality in Scripture and Tradition.  These authors carefully cite numerous primary sources from the early church into the modern era that show without a doubt that sodomy in all its forms has been condemned by the church. Michael Kruger has a review of the book here. He states:

After reading Fortson’s and Rollin’s book, they may not agree with what Christians have always believed.  But, they would have to admit that Christians have always believed it.

I have only gotten through the chapters on the early church and the Middle ages, but both are valuable and clear. Several points stand out.

First, the church has always taught that the sin of Sodom was homosexuality. Hospitality is sometimes mentioned alongside of homosexuality, but homosexuality is always mentioned. I read nothing that indicated that the primary problem was homosexual rape either. 

Second, sodomy was often grouped with murder and bestiality as the gravest of sins.

Third, the celibate priesthood was a breeding ground for sodomy. Sodomite priests were common enough that specific punishments were put into law for priests who were homosexuals. Despite these laws sodomy continued to be a problem in monasteries.

Fourth, marriage between a man and a woman was always considered the only proper outlet for sexual expression. Sodomy, masturbation, prostitution, bestiality, lesbianism, mistresses, concubines, etc. were all sins of varying degrees with sodomy being at the top of the list.

Finally, there were distinctions made between different types of homosexual behavior, including sex with boys, the dominant male, and the submissive male. But all of these were considered a gross violation of nature. One does not get the impression reading the primary sources that the main concern was sex with boys. The problem was sodomy not the sexual abuse of boys.

Here is the conclusion to their chapter on the church fathers:

This brief survey of the early Christian centuries underscores several assertions that can be made with confidence about Christian attitudes towards homosexual practice. Given the ethnic diversity of Christians and their geographic dispersion throughout the Mediterranean world in the earliest centuries after Christ, the evident consensus on this issue is remarkable...The church fathers were aware of homosexual practices in their culture and consistently condemned such behavior...The Fathers believed homosexual practice was perverse and would lead one down the path to destruction. Same-sex activity was considered a grievous sin against the Creator who designed men and women for each other. In addition to violating divine design, homosexual activity-according to early Christian writers-was an instance of humans abusing and polluting one another. 

Here are some conclusions from their chapter on the Middle Ages:

The cumulative evidence from centuries of medieval sources points to the church's unequivocal condemnation of all forms of homosexual practice. As in the patristic era, despite the geographical separation and diverse cultures of early medieval Christians, they shared a commitment to biblically defined sexual ethics...no extant source includes an example of medieval Christians expressing toleration of homosexual behavior. There was no medieval deviation from patristic teaching concerning the accepted code of Christian sexual morality...all varieties of homosexual practice were condemned by the medieval church...in the late medieval era, when massive collections of earlier Christian writings  emerged, the compilers of canon law provided a comprehensive picture of the church's views of homosexual practice. What one observes is a consistent pattern of both denunciation and pastoral care for persons guilty of homosexuality.  

Here is the final paragraph in the chapter on the Middle Ages:

The medieval material indicates a distinction among persons who engaged in same-sex acts. Younger boys experimenting with homosexual sex were treated far more leniently than adults, adults who habitually engaged in homosexual acts were treated more severely than occasional offenders. The texts reveal a medieval awareness that some people felt sexual desire for persons of the same gender, but this did not legitimate acts against nature. Rather extreme measures were taken to help persons with same-sex attraction avoid eternal damnation, from penance to strict requirements concerning their living arrangements. Homosexuality was not viewed as a psychological disorder: it was sin. While homosexuality may have been characteristic of some persons-an orientation-ethics was not reduced to a psychology of inclinations or orientations; it dealt with actions that proceeded from the wickedness of fallen humanity, a humanity that could be transformed through the work of Christ. 

The authors have done the church a great service by doing the research and writing this book. It will be a great resource for the body of Christ as she ministers to those coming out of the gay culture to Jesus and as she stems the tide of the gay Christian movement which attempts to turn the Bible's teaching on its head and to throw out 2,000 of the church's teaching on sexuality in general and sodomy specifically.

There Are Things Worse Than Sexual Immorality

Here is the final paragraph from C.S. Lewis's chapter on Sexual Morality in Mere Christianity. Brackets are mine. All else is his.

"Finally, though I have had to speak at some length about sex, I want to make it as clear as I possibly can that the centre of Christian morality is not here. If anyone thinks that Christians regard unchastity [sexual immorality] as the supreme vice, he is quite wrong. The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting people in the wrong, of bossing and patronising and spoiling sport, and backbiting, the pleasures of power, of hatred. For there are two things inside of me, competing with the human self which I must try to become. They are the Animal self [sins of the flesh], and the Diabolical self. The Diabolical self is the worse of the two. That is why a cold, self righteous prig who goes regularly to church may be far nearer to hell than a prostitute. But, of course, it is better to be neither."

Getting It

In Dr. Schaumburg's book Undefiled there is an appendix that sums up one of the most glaring errors in modern evangelical culture. I have seen the error he addresses in my own life and my church. I have read it in books, heard it in sermons, and to my shame probably preached it. Dr. Schaumburg is explaining what the difference is between people who "get it" and people who don't. What is the difference between a couple who comes to him for counseling and they see real, life changing fruit and a couple who doesn't? Read carefully what he says here. I have bolded certain sentences and phrases. The ellipsis is mine, as are the brackets. All other punctuation is his.

I usually see one major reason why people come [to counseling] for help with sexual sin, and two types of responses. Generally speaking, everyone who comes has in mind the pressing need to change a behavior, end an affair, and/or save a marriage. Therein lies the basic problem in getting it. We often focus on the external-the behavior and the pain-rather than the internal. What seems like a logical center of attention is filled with flawed thinking and the pervasive false teaching within the evangelical church. This leads many to spend their energy and their entire lives on "living life well." Therefore when an affair, pornography, or some other type of sexual sin is uncovered, it threatens the goal of living an abundant, fulfilling Christian life. It prevents us from having a meaningful marriage and guarantees endless pain. The response is to do whatever must be done to recover the abundant life and get the marriage back on track. It's just common sense-but is it biblical thinking? 

If we are biblically grounded we will start from an entirely different perspective: "Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ" (Philippians 3:20; see Ephesians 2:19). The opposite and powerful perspective described above[previous paragraph] comes from "minds set on earthly things" (Philippians 3:19). The biblical understanding of life centers on the essential internal change that leads to life (Philippians 3:21) versus the temporal change that will fail and lead to death. Repentance is not an emotional response to sin. It is much more than behavior management or a matter of being in recovery. It is a genuine heart change that always produces a life of righteousness. God's redemptive grace requires a person's responsive obedience. Repentance is a radical inward change that results in everything else beginning to change. Repentance always bears fruit as the work of God continues and we live out our lives in a manner "worthy of the gospel of Christ" (Philippians 1:27)...repentance is not merely new behavior. Repentance is inward change leading to the fruit of new behavior. It is imperative that we understand that Jesus demands this inward change [Luke 13:3]. 

So why do some people "get it"  while others don't? Most come desperate to change a behavior, possibly save a marriage, and certainly stop the pain, but many never truly repent with an internal change of mind and heart. They leave with a false hope based on mere sorrow for their sin, a commitment to change their behavior, and a new desire to find real intimacy in their marriage. Those singles and couples die, while those who shift their perspective to their desperate need of inward change live. The former leave dependent on their good efforts; the latter leave dependent on the continued work of God. They cling to God in fear and trembling, with a desire to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called." (Ephesians 4:1; see Colossians 1:10, 2:6-7). 

These paragraphs sum up well what a true gospel message does. It begins with the inner man, not outward change. It causes us to see that our greatest need is not to fix our lives, but to fix ourselves. We cannot do this. Therefore we must repent and flee to Christ. As we cling to Christ he gives us grace and power to fight the sin in our hearts, which leads to outward righteous behavior. But if we begin with trying to fix our lives, our marriages, our children, our jobs, our... then we will fail. Unfortunately most evangelicals approach God like his goal is make our lives good and the Bible is there to tell us how to have a successful Christian life. There are blessings that come with obedience. But the goal should be obedience that comes from a change in heart, mind, and will. The goal should not be using God and the Bible to make our lives better.

Justifying Sin

Harry Schaumburg has been counseling people for over thirty years and has spent the last eighteen years focusing on counseling those who struggle with sexual sin, such as adultery, pornography, prostitution, etc. His book Undefiled  is his attempt to put into writing his Biblical Intensive Counseling workshop, which is five straight days of intense counseling.

I struggled with pornography from the age of eleven into my twenties. During this time I went to church, was active with my youth group, eventually attended Bible school, and got married. It took a long time for me to beat the pornography addiction that I had. This book has been a wonderful help for me in working through some of those hidden issues that still hang over from my pornography addiction.

I will be putting more from this book on my blog later, but for now I wanted to post this list of how the heart deceives us when it comes to sin.  How is it that so many Christians know porn is bad, but still do it? The answer is not complicated. We justify it. Schaumberg focuses on sexual sin, but insert your own sin where he puts sexual sin.

• The sexual sinner always acts like he or she is sexually pure.
• The sexual sinner always justifies the sexual sin. 
• The sexual sinner always  declares the sexual sin a need. 
• The sexual sinner always deceives himself or herself into believing that sinning sexually will be a positive benefit. 
• The sexual sinner always makes excuses for his or her sexual sin.
• The sinner who does not sexually sin tells himself or herself that his or her heart is good. 

When we read this our initial reaction is, "No way." But the further you dig the more realize that is exactly what we do with our sin. When we sin we do not see ourselves as filthy, dirty people. We might feel that way momentarily after our sin, but it does not stick and we go back to believing ourselves to be pretty good people. We always justify our sin. I had to do it. There was no way out. What could I do? I needed it. They deserved it. And we do this not just with sexual sin. We do this with gossip, anger, pride, bitterness, laziness, etc. 

The beginning of our fight against sin is realizing that we are not very good people. We sin and make excuses for our sins. We pretend we are holy when we are not. We think because we don't commit the same sins as others we are good. But the truth is we are unclean and defiled without Christ. Once we understand that we can flee to Christ for forgiveness and for the means to fight against our sin. But if we assume that whatever we do is justified and that our sin is not that much of a problem we will never win the battle. 

Recycling vs. Porn: Thoughts on the Latest Barna Report

Below you can see a poll taken by the Barna Institute n the summer of 2015. Note this is not a poll of Christians, but of the general population. Polls are not airtight. What the specific question was, how many people were asked, what their background was, etc. can all play a roll in the final statistics. But polls like this can give us a general feel for the trajectory of a society. Sometimes when we hear a presidential candidate is ahead in the polls by 10 percentage points we know that poll does not sync with reality we see around us. Something is off. However, with this Barna poll, we are not surprised by what we read. What the poll says is lines up with what we see in the world around us. When the poll says that 76% of people under the age 24 do not think it is wrong to watch sexually explicit scenes on TV or in a movie is anyone surprised? You can read the whole report along with some analysis here. Here are few randoms thoughts I had from the report.

First, it is clear that the younger generation is not bothered nearly as much by sexually explicit material whether pornographic or otherwise. I am not sure there is much difference between a sexually explicit scene in a movie and porn. Many shows on HBO and Netflix contain graphic sexual content. I am 38 and this comes as no shock at all. I am surprised the numbers are as high as they are. But remember porn is the fruit, not the tree. The tree is loss of the authority of God's Word to dictate both actions and attitude. 

Second, but even in the older generation 46% of people do not think it is wrong to view porn and 63% do not think watching sexually explicit TV shows is wrong. Those are still awful numbers. We are so dead to this sin that we consider it a victory when roughly one out of two people think porn is bad. 

Third, my guess is the question  about "reading erotic or pornographic content" is directly connected to Fifty Shades of Grey. There were erotic stories around before that book. But that book popularized the erotic story, though sex scenes in romantic novels are common place.  

Fourth, the discrepancy between recycling and porn among the younger generation is striking. 56% of young people think it is always wrong or usually wrong to not recycle. While on 32% would say the same about view pornographic images. Not recycling is a moral failure much greater than porn. Young people think it is a greater moral duty to put aluminum cans in the recycle bin than it is to avoid watching other people have sex.  

Fifth, the third item in each list is lying. But among the younger generation the percentage who think it is wrong has dropped by 16 points. Lying is still considered a moral failure, but by fewer and fewer people. Almost 3 out of every 10 folks under 24 think it is fine to lie. This disturbs me almost as much as the porn statistic. 

Sixth, I am not sure about this, but my guess is that the reason certain actions are higher is because they directly affect other people.  Why would porn be so low, but adultery be so high? Both are sexual sins. According to Jesus porn is adultery on some level (Matthew 5:28). But porn is considered innocent because no one is harmed while in adultery someone is harmed. I would also guess that is why theft still remains so high. We are taking something from someone else. Here we see the shift from sin as an affront to God's character and a breaking of His law to sin as that which harms someone else. Once this switch is made the only question becomes, "Does anyone get hurt?" If the answer is no then it cannot be wrong. Why is recycling so high and watching Game of Thrones so low? Not recycling hurts our planet and ultimately our children. Watching sex and nudity on TV does not harm anyone or so the culture says. Until the church once again preaches the fear of God and man's need for obedience from the heart she will find her members defining sin less and less in line with God's character as given in His Word and more and more in line with what the culture considers "harmful." 

Seventh, while adultery is still high it does drop over 13 points between generations. 

Finally, notice the drop in covetousness or as the poll so delicately put it "wanting something that belongs to someone else." There was a drop of 25 points from the older generation to the younger one. 68% of those 24 and under think it is fine to covet. More people think it is wrong to consume too much electricity than it is to covet. This is not surprising at all given my sixth point. Sin has become something which harms others. How can lusting after my neighbor's car or my neighbor's wife be a problem when no one gets hurt? What I find interesting is for Paul coveting was the key to showing him his own need for Christ (Romans 7:7). 

There is one way this data could be interpreted more positively. Young people are often ignorant and foolish to the results of certain actions. As they grow up their beliefs change and generally become more conservative. It is possible that many of the 20 year olds who think porn is just fine now and recycling is so terrible will not think the same thing when they are 40. However, this requires that they be taught, learn, and grow. It also usually requires marriage, children, and a job. And while this has often been the pattern in the past, I am not holding my breath that it will repeat itself in the coming decades. My fear is that our educational system, impotent pastors and fathers, a failure to preach God's Word in all its fullness and to exhort people to obey it, a government that keeps men dependent, a hatred of women, children, and marriage, and a coddling of minds and bodies will not lead to the 15 to 20 year olds growing up. At the current rate and in the current cultural situation, it is hard to view these statistics getting better. 

The Flash and Fornication

My family has been watching The Flash  on Netflix.  Overall we have enjoyed the show. It is difficult to find shows that most of my kids (ages 5-16) will enjoy.  The Flash is not as well-written as some more adult oriented shows (i.e. Daredevil,  Breaking Bad), but it is suspenseful and fun.  I recommend it. But as my title indicates, I am going to pull out a negative aspect of the show. After all, I am a Calvinist. That is what we do.

One part of the show that bothers me is the fornication. The show assumes that a couple will sleep together and usually quickly. (None of this explicit, at least as far as we have watched. It is all implied.) One character gets a small box from her boyfriend. What was in that box? My younger son guessed an engagement ring. An older son was wise enough to know better. Engagement and marriage are not part of a single's worldview in our age. It ended up being a key to his apartment. She has been sleeping off and on in his apartment since they started dating but now they are going to live together. The girl's father is heartbroken over her leaving home. This used to be how fathers reacted to a marriage proposal. Now they react that way to their daughter leaving home to go sleep with a man who refuses to commit to her. Another example, Barry, aka The Flash, is on a second date with a girl and they begin making out, which had it not been interrupted by a bad guy, would have certainly led to sex. The underlying assumption is that singles will sleep together. That is just what happens.

What is most frustrating about shows like The Flash is they do not take sex seriously.  Sex does not mean anything really. There are no long term consequences, such as babies. There is no sense of betrayal or loss or shame or guilt or even rebellion. They try to treat it with respect, but it falls flat. It is hard to treat something with respect that has no power, causes no problems, and is not limited in any way. Sex doesn't matter.  I do not watch a lot of TV shows, so my sampling is pretty small but my guess is it is common in other shows besides The Flash. Sleeping around, especially among singles, is like decoration. It is just there.

There are a couple examples of sex being taken seriously in TV shows, but usually these are in the context of a marriage. Two examples that come to mind are the adultery of Skylar White in Breaking Bad and the adultery of Woody Harrelson's wife in True Detective. In both cases adultery was rebellion by the women involved. The men were destroying their marriages so the women had affairs. My guess is many Christians would find the depiction of adultery in shows like Breaking Bad more offensive than the fornication in shows like The Flash.  But I think the opposite. The depiction of adultery in those shows indicates that sex means something, which is closer to the truth than the round robin fornication with no consequences we see in many shows. But again this was in the context of an already existing marriage. I have not seen a show where fornication, sex before marriage, is taken seriously and has long-term ramifications for a person's well-being and future. Single people have sex and move on.

If there is fornication in a TV show or a a movie, at least make it mean something. But I am not sure our culture can do that.  Sex has lost all meaning in our age. What kind of sex has lasting consequences in our age? Rape and pedophilia. According to our culture, these sexual acts leave scars. Other sexual acts do not.  Prostitution, fornication, adultery, and sodomy are "normal." It is like choosing what to eat or buying a new piece of furniture. It takes some thought, but matters little in the end. I realize this is simplistic. But overall do you get the impression from TV shows that sex, in particular fornication, is a big deal? When someone decides to sleep with someone else is it a big decision with lasting affects?

When sex is limited to marriage and a man and a woman it retains its power and glory, but it is also normal. Every married couple does it (at least I hope so!) and yet that sexual bond is the sin qua non, the absolutely essential thing necessary, for the covenant relationship between a man and a woman to exist. Like many of the best things in life sex in marriage is both grand and glorious and as normal as the sun rising. But for the world sex must either be this great idol (think porn or many romantic movies) or it must be meaningless. As Christians, who keep sex in its proper bounds, we don't have to choose between the two. We can have our cake and eat it too.

Sexual Purity & the Seventh Commandment: Heidelberg Catechism, Lord's Day 41

This Sunday is the 41st Lord's Day in 2015. The Heidelberg Catechism reading for this Sunday is:

Q. What does the seventh commandment teach us?

A. That God condemns all unchastity, and that therefore we should thoroughly detest it and live decent and chaste lives, within or outside of the holy state of marriage.

 Q. Does God, in this commandment, forbid only such scandalous sins as adultery?

A. We are temples of the Holy Spirit, body and soul, and God wants both to be kept clean and holy. That is why God forbids all unchaste actions, looks, talk, thoughts, or desires, and whatever may incite someone to them.

Kevin DeYoung sets the stage by saying:

Is there any command more ridiculed in our culture than the Seventh Commandment? Adultery is a joke; homosexuality is a right; sex before marriage is the norm; no fault divorce and remarriage is assumed; bestiality is increasingly considered avant gard. This is the world we live in. Sex has always been a leading vote-getter in the most popular sin contest, but never before in this country has sexual deviance been made to look so normal and God's standard make to look so obscene...The Seventh Commandment is not just broken in this country; it's being smashed to pieces.

In our world, our bodies are rarely pure, much less our thoughts and desires. We are so at home with sexual immorality in our TV shows and music, but perhaps more deadly in our churches. Notice that the Heidelberg uses the word "detest" for our attitude towards "unchastity." Notice is says also that we should "thoroughly detest" it. We are not encouraged to a mild disdain for sexual immorality. But to a deep, abiding hatred of lust. We are not encouraged to a casual approach to sexual purity, but to a whole-hearted pursuit of it. Is that our attitude towards sexual immorality? How many of us detest the idea of getting caught looking porn, but do not detest the porn itself? How many of us hate that a friend or spouse might see us lusting after that girl in yoga pants or that guy in a tight jeans, but do not hate the fact that we want to lust after her/him? For most of us, the consequences of sexual sin are what we hate, not the sin itself. Until we learn to hate the sin and the desires that give birth to those sins we will never gain the victory.

The Heidelberg rightly points to our redemption by Christ and the filling of the Holy Spirit as the reason for holiness in this area. God does not just own our souls. He owns and fills our bodies as well. Therefore our entire self, body, soul, imaginations, thoughts, desires, emotions, and words are to be brought in submission to Christ.

What are some things we can do to fight against the pervasive sexual immorality in our lives?

-Learn what sins lead to sexual sins. Here is a good post to help you with that. Sins come in clusters. Sexual sin is rarely the engine driving the train. Usually it is the middle car in a train of sins.

-Don't be afraid to be radical in cutting off that sin. Put filters on your computer. Don't go to that section of the bookstore. Block that website. Stop "innocently" flirting at work or stopping by her desk to chat. If the job situation it too hard maybe you should leave. Don't kiss before marriage. Yes these are rules and do not get to the heart of your problem. But they might keep you from making a huge mistake while you deal with your lust.

-Worship weekly in a good Christian church where the Word is preached, the Psalms are sung, the saints fellowship with each other, and there is real accountability to elders. If an elder never visits you at home or has lunch with you and asks you about your sexual sins then there is not real accountability.

-Memorize Scripture. DeYoung gives 12 passages that we can use to fight sexual sin: Lamentations 3:25-27, Proverbs 5:18-19, James 1:14-15, Romans 14:21, Matthew 5:27-30, Galatians 6:7, I Cor. 6:15-20, II Corinthians 5:17, Hebrews 10:24-25, James 4:6, Matthew 5:8, and Ephesians 1:18-21. You can probably think of others.  Hide God's Word in your hearts.

-Check your desires. What do you want most? Not what do you tell people you want most. But what does your mind dwell on? What brings you comfort? What makes you happy? Do you regularly set aside lesser goods, such as watching TV, for greater goods, such as spending time with your children? Do you approach God's Word with same delight as you approach that newest show or movie? Love Jesus. Love the Scriptures. Love the folks at your church. Love your spouse and your children. Our desires drive us. And rarely are they as pure as we think they are. What do you love?

-Pray when tempted. Pray before you go into tempting situations. Pray when you leave. Proverbs 7:26 says that many strong men have fallen to the seductress. Or as the ESV says all those who have fallen to her are a "mighty throng." Either way her lures are not easy to resist. Do we really think we can fight her without prayer?

-Enjoy your spouse sexually. Here is a quote from G.I. Williamson's book on the Heidelberg Catechism:

The antidote to adultery is, or should be-for most of us- a good marriage. This means a marriage in which there is the right kind of sexual fulfillment. Sex is not evil. How could it be, when God himself designed it? And because it is one of the good gifts of God, it must not be neglected. What do we mean by this statement? Well, we mean this: in every other aspect of life we have to apply some real effort in order to achieve something. This is true for the farmer in his work, or an amateur musician in his hobby, or a Saturday golfer in his sport. We invest time and effort in these things, in order to do them well and to keep them interesting and exciting. Well, a good sexual relationship requires some of the same...There is no legitimate place for prudery in Christian marriage. 

Victory over sexual sin is hard to achieve in our age. Most of us have scars from sexual sins, those we have done and those committed against us. The good news is we serve a risen Lord who conquered death, which means he freely covers all our sins, heals us from sins committed against us, and he can give us power to conquer our sins. Sinful sexual desires and actions do not have to hold us in bondage.

Ten Quotes: How to Exasperate Your Wife by Doug Wilson

Here are ten of my favorite quotes from Douglas Wilson's book How to Exasperate Your Wife. 

A man who ditches the actual wife of his youth is thereby revealing that he abandoned another woman (Wisdom) some time before. 

If her [the wife's] wishes are routinely disregarded, this means that her husband has failed to invest her with his authority, and has failed to act as an example for the rest of the household. A sure indicator of an unhappy household is the ignoring of Mom, and the head of that home is an abdicating father.

No one person is absolute. And this why those husbands who think that headship means their wives should never offer a contrary view are wrong. This is why husbands who think their wives cannot require certain things of them are wrong. This is why husbands who believe that their wives have no court of appeal outside the marriage are wrong.  

 Few forms of behavior are less respectable than that of demanding respect. 

A man who gives love receives respect.

A man who is not strong enough to be tender is not strong at all...We tend to think that a man who yells and blusters and intimidates has an excess of strength. We think he has a surplus. But biblically understood, he is actually a covenant wimp.

A nation defended by her women is a nation no longer worth defending. When women are placed in the front line of defense, every Christian man should walk away from the cause of that nation as being beneath contempt.

The basic question here is whether law operates in the context of grace, or whether grace operates in the surrounding context of law. If the former, then marriage is delight upon delight. If the latter, then it is one conflict after another. In these two different marriages, the objective standards may be exactly the same, but they are played in different keys.  

The progression towards adultery moves like this-simmering discontent, open discontent, open desire in other directions, which is lust, and then lust acted out, with infidelity as the result. Now a man might be able to convince himself that he is not being unfaithful in the first two stages-he is not being aroused, and he is not actively seeking that kind of gratification. His problem doesn't appear to him to be overtly sexual at all. But that's a set up. Don't feed the kind of discontent that will, later on, feed something else. 

What is biblical masculinity? It is the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility.

And one:

What is the confessional issue of our time? The confessional issue of our time is human sexuality, biblically defined.  

Clean Upstream

Pastor Doug Wilson notes in this book

Recognize that sexual sin is not just a sin for which there will be consequences later (although that is true)-sexual sin is itself a judgment for antecedent [prior PJ] sin. Find out what that sin is, and deal with it. Stop floating towards the falls. Work your way upstream.

Many men see lust and sexual sin in isolation from the rest of their sins. Lust is what happens when you see a girl and keep staring and staring or click on that link you swore you wouldn't or when you roll that scene from the movie over and over in your mind. Because this sin is often committed in the dark or in our minds we assume it has little connection to the rest of our sins. But there are clusters of sins that at first glance have little to do with sex that make it easier to cheat on our wives, flirt at work, look at porn, or indulge fantasies in our heads. Here are a few sins upstream that lead to sexual sins downstream. Naturally these intertwine with each other and you can probably think of others.

Laziness: Proverbs 15:19 says the way of a lazy man is like a hedge of thorns. Many a man has found himself entangled in sexual sins because he was lazy in other areas of his life. A man who cannot put in a hard day's work, cuts corners, refuses to maintain his home, hopes he wins the lottery, is too lazy to discipline his children or help his pregnant wife is not likely to work hard when it comes to resisting  the buxom blonde on the screen.

Grumbling:  Throughout the Scriptures God's people are called upon to give thanks. When they don't bad things happen. One could argue that sodomy, one of the greatest sexual sins, begins with a failure to give thanks (Romans 1:21). But we treat grumbling and complaining with kid gloves.  A man addicted to porn has a huge problem. A man who spends most of his life complaining is complimented for being insightful and wise. But porn and grumbling go together. A man who is discontent with his children, his job, his house, and his dog will not be content with his wife. A complaining mouth is a sign of an unfaithful heart.

Lack of Self-Control: Self-control is a central character trait necessary for true holiness. Without self-control other virtues, such as kindness and mercy, lose their balance and beauty.  A man who cannot control his eating, his temper, his schedule, his movie watching, his gaming, his hobbies, and his speech is not likely to control his sexual urges. Yet we are surprised when a man who spends dozens of free hours and hundreds of dollars on hunting or golf cheats on his wife. Why?

Coveting: Of course, lust is a sub species of covetousness. But we don't take other types of coveting as seriously as we take coveting a woman. We recoil at lusting after a women. But a new job...not so much. We just wink. When we are jealous of a friend's pay raise or new house or new truck or...fill in the blank then we are coveting. We believe we deserve more than we have. We believe God has withheld something good from us (Genesis 3:4-6). A longing for a new job, car, house, etc. naturally leads to sexual sin. Covetousness is compared to idolatry in Ephesians 5:5 and Colossians 3:5. If we bow down all day we will not suddenly stop bowing at the computer or with a co-worker.

The trouble is the sins listed above do not make our short list of "big" sins. We are lazy, grumbling, out of control, coveting men and then wonder why we cannot resist the cute waitress.  Acre after acre of our lives are untended and full of weeds and we wonder why this one little area has so many snakes in it.

We should fight against sexual sin by regulating our computer habits, guarding our eyes at work, being accountable, memorizing verses, and other regularly suggested means. But we will never  kill our lusts until we begin to put to death these other sins. We will never defeat sexual immorality until we work until we don't want to and then work some more. We will not turn away from porn unless we stop grumbling about God's hard providences.  When we learn to hold our tongue we will also learn how to hold back sinful thoughts. And when we give thanks to God for his gifts we will stop lusting for what he has withheld. These Spirit filled disciplines will help us find victory over our sexual sins. Otherwise fighting lust will be a losing battle, like cleaning up downriver while the sewage continues to pour in upstream.

No, It Really Isn't That Hard

In a recent article in the Huffington Post, Wendy Davis, a Democratic politician from Texas who tried to become governor said this:

She is angry about the threat of Planned Parenthood being defunded. She thinks abortion is great. She thinks it is unfair for women to have carry children to term. 

Several thoughts went through my mind as I read this. First, the use of "literally" is like, totally, lame. 

Second, no one is forcing women into being child bearing vessels. They are born that way.  God made women to bear children. They do not enter this world with no reproductive organs and then some scientist inserts a womb. They enter this world with wombs and breasts, which are for carrying, giving birth to, and feeding children. 

Third, very few women are forced to bear children. The only exception would be a pregnant rape victim. All other women know that having sex can lead to children and they chose to do it anyway. If they don't want children then they shouldn't have sex. Typically we see in this statement by Ms. Davis the divorcing of sex from procreation. She wants to chant, "Make love, not children." The world doesn't work that way. 

Finally, is it really that hard to feed and educate a bunch of children? Raising children is hard work. But feeding them and educating them is not the most difficult part. In fact, I have never had a problem feeding or educating my children. One year I made less than thirteen thousand dollars and my children (at that time I had four) were still fed, clothed, and educated. Currently, I have nine children. My wife has not worked for money in many years. I am a pastor. In other words, I am not rich, have a lot of children, and my wife does not work. You might think I would struggle to make ends meet. But that is not the case. We feed our children just fine without using government money.  We home school our children and they regularly score above the national average on tests. In other words, I pay for my kids school and I pay for someone else's kids school. My church is kind to me, but I know that even with nine children I could feed and educate them on a lot less than what I currently make. 

Everyone does not have to do it my way, though I think you should avoid the schools of Molech. And I know there are hard cases where it is difficult to pay the bills. But most people by hard work, careful use of resources, sacrifice, and a refusal to buy everything being sold by the advertisers can feed and educate their children, even when they have a lot of them. It is getting harder to make ends meet. But that is because of all the taxes being taken from the people to fund overseas wars, public school, welfare, and Planned Parenthood. We can feed and educate our children as long the Republicans and Democrats will let us keep our money.  So the answer is not more government programs or abortion. The answer is lower taxes, hard work, and lots of little feet. 

Premarital Sex in Calvin's Geneva

I am continuing to work through Kingdon and Witte's book on marriage in Geneva. At the bottom of this post you can find the other articles.

Chapter 12 addresses how Geneva approached the period of time between engagement and marriage, including how premarital sex was handled, as well as desertion during the engagement. This post will only address premarital sex. 

This time included heightened sexual tension therefore the "Genevan authorities regulated this perilous interval in some detail."  One of the difficulties Geneva ran into was that they treated this period like a marriage except you could not have sex. For example, if an engaged woman slept with someone who was not her spouse to be, it was adultery, not fornication. To get out of an engagement was like getting a divorce. Yet despite all these trappings of marriage, a couple was still supposed to refrain from sex until the wedding day. 

Geneva tried to curb premarital sex between engaged couples in several different ways. First, you had six weeks to get married once you were engaged. If a couple failed to do this they would be called in to give an account for the delay. If they persisted they could be forced to marry.

If a delay is bad, why not get married immediately? Calvin felt this deprived the community of an opportunity to participate in the wedding. It also gave little time for examination of the marriage in case there were problems that needed to be sorted out, such as previous marriages or financial contracts.

Of all the rules and regulations in Geneva, this is one of the wisest. Long engagements are bad for couples. Today we are more interested in having the perfect wedding than we are in actually getting married. But I also think getting married immediately or eloping is not the best choice.  Many couples, especially conservative Christian couples, think long delays are bad. Therefore they assume that getting married as quickly as possible is the best option. But elopement can leave out the family, the church community, and friends. I am not sure six weeks is the perfect time frame, but even three months sounds good.

The second way Geneva tried to curb premarital sex was that if a couple slept together during their engagement they were fined and put in prison for three days, unless the woman was pregnant. If she was pregnant they made her come into church on Sunday and confess her sins before the congregation and ask for mercy from God. The fact that women got pregnant during their engagement shows that the six week gap was the ideal, but was not always held to.

The third method of curbing this behavior is the most interesting.  Geneva eventually reached a place where if a couple fornicated during engagement they had to confess that sin at their wedding. First, Geneva decided that brides who fornicated would not be allowed to wear the traditional wedding wreath, a sign of purity, upon their heads. This was not enough of a deterrent. So Geneva drafted a resolution stating that if a couple fornicated before marriage the minister would "make a public declaration of their fault" at their wedding and the couple "will acknowledge their offense when they are married in the church."

This last method employed by Geneva raises awkward questions that most Christians do not want to answer. Should a couple who waited faithfully to have sex until after they were married get treated the same way as a couple who did not wait, but fornicated?  Should there be some distinction made on the wedding day between virgins and those who are not virgins? Should scandalous sins be confessed publicly and if so how should it be done? Are their other ways of indicating unfaithfulness, besides public confession? What role does the forgiveness of sins play in this scenario? Does forgiveness mean the sin is never brought up again? What role does the fear of public shame play in preventing future sins?

Previous Posts
General Overview of the Book
An Overview of Marriage Prior to Calvin
Calvin's Attack on Marriage as a Sacrament
Consent to Marriage in Geneva
The Desire for Reconciliation Instead of Divorce
The Power of the Consistory in Geneva
Courtship in Geneva
Coercion to and Conditions of Marriage in Geneva
Parental Consent to Marriage in Geneva
Impediments to Marriage in Geneva
Economics of Marriage in Geneva

Sexual Purity for Singles: Three Foundations

Sexual purity is one of the most difficult things for a single man or woman to maintain in our world. The ease of access to porn, the late age at which many people are marrying, the freedom people have in their single life, and the failure by fathers and pastors to faithful shepherd has left many Christians singles open to sexual sin. In a series of blog posts I would like to address how single Christians can maintain sexual purity.

By the way, in recent years the sexual purity of women has become just as big a problem as sexual purity of males. 1 out of 3 internet pornography users is a woman. Most women do not enter marriage as virgins. Even those women who are virgins have often been physical with guys or become emotionally attached to men.  Sexually purity of both body and mind is not a male thing anymore. These posts are addressed to both men and women. Throughout these articles I will be using the phrase “sexual purity” in a broad way to mean physical, emotional, and mental purity.

Three things for single men and women to remember as they pursue sexual purity. 

            

First, sexual purity is possible. In our culture purity may seem like a dream for both men and women. Our culture tells us to not deny our urges, but instead to act upon them. What harm can a little pornography do? What harm can those lustful thoughts do? What is the big deal if I flirt with some of the guys? But the Scriptures expect us to be sexually pure.  When our Lord Jesus gives us commands like Matthew 5:27-30 or Ephesians 5:3-5 or I Thessalonians 4:3 or I Corinthians 6:18 he is not mocking us. He is not saying, “I am giving you these commands, but I know you cannot do these things.” No!  He is saying, “Because I have forgiven you and given you my Spirit and taken out your heart of stone you can be holy, clean, and pure.” We can be sexually pure because our Savior has made us clean by his blood. Practical holiness is not a dream.  

Second, sex is good and you were made for a sexual relationship within the bounds of marriage.  Christians rightly warn that sex outside of marriage is sinful. But the danger is that we come to see sex as bad instead of sinful sex as bad. Marriage is a “you are now free to have sex” card. Unless you have the gift of celibacy, you were made to sleep with someone.  Don’t let your fight for sexual purity become a fight against sex itself. We don't hate dessert just because we had to wait for it. 

Third, those who have had sex before marriage or who have been too physical can still have wonderful Christ honoring marriages. Christ came to help put us back together again. What you do before marriage will have consequences. But Jesus, by his word, his Spirit, and his people, can help you work through your past sins so your marriage can honor Christ. Those who have sinned sexually should not despair. Christ picks us up where we are. 

Should a Pastor Teach Frankly on Sexual Issues?

Here is my latest post over at Kuyperian Commentary. I posted something similar here last year.

Should a Pastor Teach Frankly About Sex?

I am currently working on writing a three part paper on sexual discipline. The topics include sexual sin, sexual discipline for married couples, and sexual discipline for single men and women. As I am writing this I keep asking myself is this necessary? I think this is an important question. Our world is drowning in sexual imagery and language. I can go to any “normal” news page, such as Fox News or CNN and find articles about sexual issues that range from the funny to the profane. Shows on television are frankly sexual, often involving sodomy, fornication, etc. Nudity on television has gone up dramatically over the last ten years. Even if I avoid the internet and TV there are the magazines at Wal-Mart and college girls all over town with far too little clothing or clothing that draws attention to their bodies. (One advantage of living in the North is that winter brings a reprieve to this.)  Does a pastor need to add to this? Is it really his job to deal with these types of problems in a forthright, frank manner? Maybe he should just tell his congregation about Christ and let them apply Christ to their sexual lives?

            I believe a pastor must address these issues if he is to be faithful to Christ. He must do it correctly, but it must be done. Today, I want to give reasons why a pastor must address these issues. Later, I will talk about how I address these issues. There is probably more disagreement on the how than the why among Christians. Yet still we must lay a solid foundation of why a pastor can speak on these things before we get to the how he should speak on them. Throughout this paper I use the word “teach” a lot. Do not assume that I mean only public teaching. By teaching I mean a combination of public and private ministry of the Word. Here are the reasons why a pastor must teach on sexual holiness in a frank manner:

1.      The Bible addresses almost every conceivable sexual act. Incest, rape, bestiality, lust, prostitutes, adultery, fornication, sodomy, etc. are all mentioned in the Bible (See Leviticus 18). On the positive side you have the Song of Solomon, Proverbs 5:15-23, and I Corinthians 7:1-5. Of course, it is not done in a pornographic way, but these issues are addressed. If the teaching is handled correctly, which I will admit is not easy to do, there is no reason to be squeamish about discussing them.

2.      Sexual sins are a major part of the Biblical teaching on sin. Here is a list of some of those sins: Lamech’s numerous wives in Genesis 4, attempted sodomite rape in Genesis 19, incest in Genesis 19,  the sexual sin of Israel in Numbers 25, Samson and the prostitute in Judges 16, the rape of the Levite’s concubine in Judges 19, David’s sin with Bathsheba in II Samuel 11-12, Jesus’ teaching on lust in Matthew 5:27-30, Paul’s discussion of sleeping with a prostitute in I Corinthians 6:12-20, and the mention of a “Jezebel” who seduces men to sexual immorality in Revelation 2:20. And I could mention dozens of other passages. Sexual sin and sexual righteousness are not a blip on the Bible’s radar. They are a central theme in the Scriptures. 

Battle Plan for Lust and Pornography

There are no easy answers in the battle with pornography. There is hardly a man around who is not been exposed to it. Many men have been addicted to it for extended periods of time. It has also become a much bigger problem among females over the last decade. The marriage bed is often compromised because of it. For pastors, it is one of the dominant themes of our ministries. It does not go away.  If it is not being addressed regularly that is not because it is not there, but rather because it is being ignored. 


As a pastor, one the questions I ask the men in my church is, "Are you looking at pornography/sexually provocative materially?"  If they say, "Yes." I pester them until I get a good idea of how much and how often they look at it.  Then I develop with them a plan to fight against it. Pornography and lust die hard deaths, but by the Spirit and the Word, they can die. Here are some of the things I tell the men at my church to do to battle lust and pornography.  There are other things I say and not all of these points are equally effective for all  men. But they do get them going down the right road. They are not in any particular order. 

a.   Memorize verses to renew your mind.  I encourage memorizing two types of verses. First, memorize what I call practical verses, such as II Timothy 2:22, "Flee youthful lusts, etc." Second memorize verses that call to mind the glory of Christ and his work. I call these doctrinal verses.  Anything from Ephesians 1 or 2 would do. These two types of verses remind you of what you are to do and who you serve and have been saved by. 

b.   Pray frequently, especially before entering tempting situations. Prayer reminds you that God exists and will help you and it fixes your mind on the battle ahead. I know for many men the work environment is one of the worst situations, as women often dress immodestly. I would encourage regular prayer before and during the work day. 

c.   Remember that your sins are truly forgiven in Christ. He does not forgive partially. He does not forgive based on you overcoming your sin. He forgives abundantly and completely and frequently. This great truth will keep you from despair as you fight. 

d.   Pornography is about worship. Learning to worship God is a key to overcoming pornography. Worship drives who we are. Sunday worship is one of the greatest tools God uses to drive out our idols. Let the songs, prayers, preaching, and fellowship all reshape you. It is a mystery how all this happens, but if you throw yourself into the Lord’s day and expect him to meet you there, you will be changed.

e.    Pornography is about desire. We must not just fight porn, but we must replace our desires for what is evil with our desires for what is good. We must learn to want what is righteous. This is probably the most difficult of all tasks. We look at porn or lust after women because we want to. We must learn to not want it.

Fighting Sexual Immorality

Proverbs considers sexual immorality one of the greatest temptations facing men. It is addressed early and often in the book. Here are some quick thoughts I gleaned on how to fight sexual immorality from a recent reading of Proverbs 5.
1. Remember that sexual immorality is trading a temporary pleasure for a permanent pain. (verses 1-6)

2. Remember that sexual immorality wastes your energy, money, and time. (verses 9-11).

3. Remember that sexual immorality will ruin your reputation. (vss. 12-14) The man who refuses to listen to instruction and consistently indulges in immoral acts will find himself on the edge of total ruin. He will be publically recognized as a fool.

4. Remember to enjoy your wife or wait for your future wife. (vss. 15-20)

5. Remember that God sees you when are sinning. (vss. 21-23) It is easy to believe that we are on our own , that no one sees us. But God’s eyes are always watching.