Motherhood, Aristotle, and the Trinity

If you are a mom (or anyone else for that matter), please bear with me in this initial section. It is tough sledding, but there is fruit at the end. Fred Sanders' book on the Trinity has been an excellent read so far. Throughout the book he pulls in quotes and illustrations from many diverse sources. In the early chapters Sanders mentions Nicky Cruz, who was converted by David Wilkerson the author of the The Cross and the Switchblade, John Bunyan, Friedrich Schleiermacher, Thomas F. Torrance, and Gerald Bray among others. In one section Sanders is talking about the difference between who God is and what He does. He notes that God did not have to create. He was glorious, good, and loving before the world ever came into being and would have remained so had he never created. One person he quoted struck me. Here are the quotes from that individual:

He is the great God, "the God of the spirits of all flesh," the high and lofty one that inhabiteth eternity," and created not angels and men because he wanted them for his being in itself , and as such must necessarily be infinitely happy in the glorious perfections of his nature from everlasting to everlasting; and as he did not create, so neither did he redeem because he needed us; but he loved us because he loved us, he would have mercy because he would have mercy, he would show compassion because he would show compassion.

In other words, the creation of this world was a gift of grace. God was not constrained to create in any way. This person goes on to explain why Aristotle was mistaken in his belief that world had eternally existed alongside God.  Aristotle said this because he felt that a good God demanded an outlet for that goodness and therefore matter had to eternally exist as a way for God to show his goodness. This person refutes Aristotle using the Trinity:

For had he [Aristotle] ever heard of the great article of our Christian faith concerning the Holy Trinity, he had then perceived the almighty Goodness eternally communicating being and all the fullness of the Godhead to the divine Logos, his uncreated Word, between whose existence and that of the Father there is not one moment assignable. 

The person's point here is that God's goodness did not need a created world to be expressed. It had been expressed between Father and Son for all eternity. It is clear that this person has a grasp of ancient philosophy, Trinitarian theology, and the Scriptures. It is also clear that this person understands and delights in who God is. Who do you think said these things?

A Few Words for Parents Who Home Schooled

This is a companion post to the one I wrote to children who were home schooled. I would encourage you to read them both as they balance each other out. I was home schooled and I am currently homeschooling so I have been on both ends of these blog posts. This will apply to a lot of parents, but I address it to those who home schooled. 

This is what I would say to parents who home schooled.

First, the problems you see in the life of your grown children are your fault. It is not only your fault. Your children have a sin nature. But you played a significant role in shaping the sins of your children. This is a hard truth that we would rather ignore. Many home schooling parents have a high view of their responsibility in raising their children when they are at home, but refuse to accept responsibility for how children behave when they leave. They are your children. You raised them. They learned how to think and act from you. If you see things in your grown children that you don't like then look in the mirror and repent. For what you see in them more than likely came from you.

Second, when a child leaves the home your role as a parent shifts dramatically. You need to let them go and live their life. Homeschooling parents often want to keep telling their children what to do after they are grown. This is particularly devastating for men. How can he lead his home when dad still orders him around? How can his wife respect him when he is constantly bending to what mom says? How can a wife make decisions for her family if she has to check with mom all the time? Grown children should respect their parents. But respect does not equal obedience.  A man is supposed to leave his father and mother. Your grown children should have the freedom to disagree with you and make different choices. They need to know they have this freedom. You should not make them feel guilty for exercising this freedom. You can offer counsel when asked, but that counsel should come with no strings attached. In short, when you children leave your home they are free from your authority and ideally they should probably be relatively free of your authority before they leave the home.

Third, just because your children make different choices than you does not mean they have gone off the deep end.  Home school parents often have precise ideas about how things should be done. When a grown child deviates from this it can cause anxiety.  But in many cases this anxiety is unwarranted. Just because your child uses a different school schedule than you did does not mean they are going to leave the faith. Just because they go to the home school co-op and you didn't does not mean they have gone liberal. We could go on and on with this list talking about school curriculum, vaccines, where to give birth, how they dress, what they allow their children to watch, how they celebrate holidays, what type of church they attend, etc. You made the choices you thought were best as you raised your children. Now your children must do the same. Just because they choose differently does not mean they have rejected you, their upbringing, or God. In fact, you should expect them to make different choices. You should expect them to outgrow you, unless you got everything perfect. There should be times where you look at your children, smile, and say, "I wish I had done that."

Fourth, admit to your grown children where you failed them. What mistakes did you make? What would you have done differently? How did you fail to love them? How did you fail to follow the Scriptures? How did you fail to love Christ? I am not encouraging you to call them weekly and tell them what a bad parent you were like some sappy episode of Oprah. What I am encouraging is sitting down and saying, "Son, I wish I had done this and here is why." Or "Daughter, I thought I was right here, but I was wrong. I don't want you to make the same mistakes." Or, "Son, I sinned against you by not doing...Please forgive me for this." This is Christianity 101. Confess your sins one to another. By the way, this is a lot easier to do with your grown children if you did it with them when they were young.

Fifth, trust the Lord with your grown children. You are not God.  He is powerful, mighty, and sovereign. You are not. In many ways, your work is done. That can be terrifying, if you are trusting in your work. Don't do that. Rest in His goodness. Rest in the promises in His Word. Rest in the finished work of Christ. Seek the throne of grace on behalf of your children. Many home schooling parents become fearful and anxious when their children leave the home. This is understandable, but shows a lack of trust in God. Look to Christ and trust that if your children are looking to Him too then all will be well. (Memorizing Heidelberg Catechism questions 26-28 might help with your anxiety.)

Sixth, give thanks to the Lord for your grown children, their spouses, and your grandchildren.  I do not mean be thankful in your hearts. Tell them you appreciate them. Magnify their achievements. Glory in all the good they are doing. Praise them in public and private. Rejoice over the work God is doing in their lives, their spouse's life, and in your grandchildren. No matter your situation, God has been better to you than you deserve. My guess is that many (though I know not all) home schooled children grow up to love Jesus, His Word, and His Church. What more could you want? They may not do exactly what you did the way you did it, but does that mean you cannot be grateful?

A Few Words for Children Who Were Home Schooled

This article is meant to be read in conjunction with the one to parents. They balance each other out. I was home schooled and I am currently homeschooling so I have been on both ends of these blog posts. I think there is much here for all children to learn, but I have addressed this specifically to home schooled children.  

The world of home schooling has blown up over the last year, especially with the ugly sins of Doug Philips and Bill Gothard being exposed. These men influenced home schoolers in significant ways. This has led to blog posts, web sites, etc., by adults who were home schooled, where they decry their upbringing. Often these articles have good points, but, at times, there is an underlying attitude that can leave a bad taste in my mouth. Here is what I would say to adults who were home schooled and look back with disappointment on their growing up years.

First, don't blame your parents and your upbringing for your sins and your problems. Sometimes these articles can be summed up as: Mom and Dad left me with a lot of baggage. All of our parents did that. You will do that to your kids. If you see problems in your life, don't whisper to yourself, "It was my parents' fault."  Don't allow your heart to echo, "If only my upbringing was different." Your upbringing was fine. You did not have it any worse than anyone else. This victim mentality fits in well with American culture, but isn't befitting someone claiming the name of Christ.

Second, stop trying to show your parents all the things they did wrong. Often you should make different decisions than your parents. The problem is not making a different choice than Mom and Dad. It is making a different choice and making a point with that different choice. Make the choices you think are best according to the Scriptures, but don't poke your parents in the eye while doing it. Treat your parents with respect even when you disagree with them or do things differently.  As an aside, grown children should be cautious about calling out their parents, especially publicly. Your parents did sin against you, as you will sin against your children. But grace covers sin. Cover your parents' sins.

Third, rules do not equal legalism. Just because your parents made you wear denim jumpers or wouldn't let you watch R movies does not make them a Pharisee. The word legalism is tossed around too easily today. Different rules from the ones you have for your household does not mean you were raised as a Pharisee. Legalism does exist in homeschooling circles. But it should be carefully defined and then proven. Saying your parents were legalists may score you rhetorical points, but it doesn't prove your point.

Fourth, in most cases your parents were first or second generation home schoolers. They were pioneers. When my mom home schooled me the choices were limited. Now they are almost unlimited. Blazing a trail is different from settling down and building a city. They had to cut down their own trees. There were no paved roads. That means the path was rougher and maybe they got off track here and there. Be gracious and humble. They did a good work by trying to bring you up in the ways of Christ. Was it perfect? Of course not. Were there things about the home schooling movement that were off track? Of course. As 2nd or 3rd generation home schoolers we need to keep building the city, but not with a pride that looks down on those who got us here.

Finally, give thanks for the parents God gave to you. I do not mean a warm, fuzzy feeling just above your rib cage. Tell them how thankful you are for what they did. Tell your children how thankful you are for your parents. Call them often and tell them of your love. Speak well of them in public and private. All of us could find things wrong with our parents. All of us could snipe and pick and bite them. But as Christians is that what we are supposed to do? Doesn't love cover a multitude of sins? Would you want your grown children sniping at you that way? Didn't the same God who sent His Son to deliver you send those parents to raise you? Be grateful for what they gave you, not bitter over what they didn't.

Spanking in Reformation Europe

Here is an interesting quote from Steven Ozment's book When Fathers Ruled.  All punctuation and italics are Ozment's.

When the unpleasant task of spanking was necessary, always as last resort, the housefather books, summarizing generations of advice on corporal punishment, instructed fathers never to punish a child to the point that he became terrorized, embittered, or moved to anger against a parent; fathers, after all, are not "hangmen." A proper spanking should be timely, coming on the heels of the infraction; "coolly" administered; calmly explained and justified in advance (a spanking was a rational exercise); and accompanied by profuse assurance of parental love...Spanking a child also required a degree of humility on the part of the parent because its very occurrence attested to the incompleteness, if not also the imperfection, of his child rearing.

Just Get Through the Day: A Lesson for Moms from Hell Week

Note: All the following information about Hell Week was taken from Marcus Luttrell's book Lone Survivor.

Hell Week is the beginning of Navy SEAL BUD/s training. Many people consider it the hardest week of military training in the world. It begins sometime on Sunday afternoon/evening and runs until the following Friday at 5:00. It involves days of going without sleep or with very short sleep, as in less than an hour. They throw you in the water and keep you there until you are minutes away from hypothermia. You run one mile to breakfast and one mile back to where you exercise. You do the same thing at lunch and at dinner. That is in excess of all the regular running you do.  You do push ups and more push ups and more push ups. You run into the Pacific Ocean then come out and roll in the sand. You are pushed until your body burns and then they demand more. Basically the Navy wants to see if you would rather die than quit. If the answer is yes, then you can stay. If you want to quit there is a bell you can ring. If you ring the bell they will give you good food, a hot shower, and ticket out of hell.

At first glance, this may seem like the last place to get some tips on how to be a good mother. You have a bunch of cussing, physically strong, tough warriors who are training to go into dark, dangerous places and either rescue or kill people. What does SEAL training have to do with mothering?

The answer is simple: pressure. Mothering a bunch of little children is a pressure packed life. It may not be drill instructors, but there is usually a lot of screaming and crying. There are days of pure exhaustion. You probably walk miles a day following the little ones around. You may feel like you only get short periods of rest. There are moments where you want to ring the bell and just get a hot shower.

So how do the SEALs get through?  Marcus Luttrell's commander gave him some great advice before he went to Hell Week.

First, of all I don't want you to give in to the pressure of the  moment. Whenever you are hurting bad, just hang in there. Finish the day...Second, take it one day at a time...Don't let your thoughts run away with you, don't start planning to bail because you're worried about the future and how much you can take. Don't look ahead to the pain. Just get through the day.(Emphasis mine)

This is interesting advice. Luttrell said very few men dropped out because they were physically unfit. It was the mental side of things that destroyed them. On Monday morning they were thinking, "How can I take another five days of this?" They stopped thinking about what was right in front of them and worried about what was coming. The key to survival was to not think about the coming days. Just focus on what is in front of you. Just get through the next set of push ups, the next run, the next swim.

The good news is that the Lord does give mothers breaks and moments of joy. It is not hell raising children. It is a glorious job, filled with wonders and delights. But there are times when the pressure builds. Where you feel yourself ready to explode and you wish there was a bell to ring. When that moment comes don't think to yourself, "How can handle six more hours of this?" Or "How can I get through the week with the kids vomiting all over the place?"  Or "Can I endure six more months of pregnancy?" Instead just focus on what is in front of you. Just get through the next diaper, the next fussy kid, the next meal, the next tantrum, the next labor contraction, the next exhortation to do chores, etc.  In doing so you will be obeying the many commands in Scripture to not worry (Matthew 6:25-33, Philippians 4:6). And you will be earning a reward far greater than the "Congratulations" the SEALs get at the end of Hell Week. You will earn the right to hear those wonderful words, "Well done good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:21)

The Whole Bible and the Christian Woman

“We should thus mark the difference between Scriptural doctrines and Scriptural statements, and may observe that points-Scriptural in their place and proportion-may become unscriptural by their disproportioned and unnatural application.” (Bridges, The Christian Ministry, p. 302)

            At our church we are trying to recover the Biblical doctrine of womanhood. We teach our women that the being a wife, homemaker, and mother is a glorious calling. We believe this is a mark of Biblical faithfulness in our age.  But just trying does not mean we are succeeding. What might prevent a woman in our church from growing as a wife and mother? What might cause a Christian woman to wilt instead of thrive in her vocation, which is presented as a blessing in the Scriptures?  What might cause her to reject her calling as a wife and mother or to find that task a tremendous burden? We usually assume that women stumble in this area because they do not have the teaching on their vocation. And sometimes they don’t. Sometimes the most basic truths, such as submit to your husband, have not been taught. However, another potential reason for this lack of growth, especially in churches that are trying to strengthen families, is that sometimes much of the Bible is not applied to women. Of course, Christian women in these churches often read the whole Bible. However, they spend most of their time applying a few select passages instead of applying all the Scriptures. They apply passages such as Ephesians 5 or I Timothy 2 or Proverbs 31, which they should do.  However, they spend very little time thinking about how to apply Numbers or Hebrews or Romans or Revelation to their lives. They might know the content of these books of the Bible, but often they do not know how these books apply to them personally as daughters, wives, mothers, and grandmothers. 

 Let me clarify this point using Ephesians. Ephesians 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6 are just as important for Christian women as Ephesians 5. We all agree with this in theory.  No one argues that one chapter is more important in the Bible than another. However, in practice we can minimize the importance of all of Scripture for our women.  For example, when a woman is struggling in her duties as a wife do we keep directing her to Ephesians 5?  Why not send her to Ephesians 1 to find the grace to fulfill her calling?  We are elect in Christ. We have redemption through his blood.  These great truths set up Paul's exhortation in Ephesians 5. Going to Ephesians 5 is not wrong, it is just not sufficient over the long haul. Here is another example.  How many Christian women see themselves as “raised up with Christ and seated in the heavenly places?” (Ephesians 2:6) They may know this verse, but it is doubtful many understand how it applies to their life or even consider it important to apply it to their life?  My point is this: Christian women need to see how the whole Bible applies to their whole life, not just those verses that directly address their duties as wives and mothers. 

We often do with passages on the home, children, and being a wife exactly what some Pentecostals do with passages on tongues and healing or some die-hard Calvinists do with verses on predestination.   For some Pentecostals, those passages on tongues and healing are not just part of the Bible, but they are trump verses that define their entire Christian life. If you go to certain Pentecostal churches you will not find whole-Bible Christians. You will find Christians whose whole existence has become wrapped up in a few passages.  This means they are unbalanced because of the elevation of certain passages over other passages. If we emphasize passages on the home over, instead of alongside, the rest of the Bible then we will find ourselves doing the exact same thing.  We will not be whole Bible Christians who are seeking to live out all the Scriptures. Being a whole-Bible Christian will mean headship and home-making and lots of children, but it will also mean mercy, courage, kindness, caring for the weak, discussion of doctrine and theology, learning how to forgive, and a whole host of other Christian virtues. Passages on the home, submission, and raising children should be frequently taught. But I am reminding you that those passages are not enough for a Christian woman to thrive in her vocation. 

What could be some consequences for our women if they are not whole-Bible Christians? Let me list a few. 

First, the women in the body could become mal-nourished. They will find themselves looking for strength to do fulfill their vocations, but lack the ability because they are not being fed by the whole counsel of God. Just taking a few passages and applying them constantly is like eating the same food over and over again. Parts of a Christian woman’s life will be untouched by Christ and His Word if the focus is only on passages that directly relate to the home.  

Second, not applying the whole Bible could allow women to keep a low standard.  They can say, “I am keeping house and therefore I am obeying Christ.” "I am in submission to my husband and therefore I am obeying Christ." These are good things, of course. But Christ doesn’t just say, “Manage the home”  (Titus 2:4) or submit to your husband (Ephesian 5:22). He also says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.”  He says, “Above all else put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” (Matthew 5:3, Colossians 3:14)  He tells us that he is the “Alpha and Omega" and that one day we will sit with him on his throne.  (Revelation 1:8 and 3:21)  All of these verses apply to the women in our midst. If we only look at the passages that directly address the home life then a lot of the Bible can be ignored.  You see this same thing with die-hard Calvinists who cannot show mercy, but have their ordo salutis memorized in four languages.

Third, it could cause women to ignore preaching and teaching if it is not specifically on the home. The way the Bible is applied at home will also be the way preaching is applied.   If the pastor is preaching on the practical aspects of home life, the roles of men and women, or raising children then the women are all ears.  However, if he is preaching on the superiority of Christ to the angels from Hebrews 1 or the life of Hezekiah from II Chronicles 29-32 they might ignore the practical application of those passages.  I am not saying they will not listen to the sermon or even think the sermon is good.  But they will not apply it to themselves as they ought.

Fourth, the Word of God could be dishonored. Any time we choose to minimize or ignore a portion of God’s Word, God’s name is dishonored.  This goes for Titus 2:5. But it also goes for Titus 3:1-2. In other words, if we focus on specific portions of Scripture while minimizing other portions God and his word will be profaned. 

The goal in any church should be to "present every man perfect in Christ Jesus." (Colossians 1:28) In our age, where the home, children, and mothering are despised we will need to teach, preach, and discuss with regularity the wonderful vocation God has given to the ladies in our church. However, we need to guard ourselves that we are not ignoring or minimizing large portions of the Scriptures and thus leaving the women in our churches weak and unable to fight the battle. 

Eye Candy, Girl Fights, and the Death of Motherhood

Pastor Doug Wilson describes movies as a catechism class for our age. They tell us what to believe and they define reality for us. They tell who our gods are and what the major sins of our age are. That is why it is good for Christians to evaluate what movies are saying.  Americans spent 10.8 billion dollars at the movie theater last year. That does not include Redbox, Netflix, Amazon, etc. What are we being taught as we enter these catechism classes? I came across one lesson this week as I read about the new movie Fast and Furious 6. 

I have never seen any of "Fast and Furious" (or The Fast and The Furious) movies. I was reading an article about what Hollywood can learn from one of the  most surprising film franchises in history.  The article lists six things that Hollywood can learn from this movie franchise, which has earned over 1.6 billion dollars worldwide. The fourth reason on the list is that it appeals to women. Here is what the article says:

Casting women as more than scantily clad helpmates and arm candy has further broadened "The Fast & The Furious" franchise's appeal.

Women represent 51 percent of the U.S. population and 52 percent of the moviegoing public, but according to a 2012 study by the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State University, only 11 percent of the protagonists in top grossing films are female.

Yes, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are the top-billed stars in the series, but what's refreshing about "Fast & Furious 6" is that Rodriguez and co-star Gina Carano have roles that are integral to the action. In fact, Jeffrey Kirschenbaum, Universal Pictures co-president of production, told TheWrap that the most recent "Fast" film is the highest testing among women.

He added that the on-screen throw down between Rodriguez and Carano is a key selling point of the film and "trumps" the fight between Diesel and Dwayne Johnson that was a heavily promoted part of "Fast Five.

Notice the first and last paragraph. Apparently the moviegoing public wants more than women in bikinis. Eye candy, by itself, is no longer acceptable. (If you watch the trailer you will see very quickly that it is still there.) Now we need women who beat each other up. Here is another article declaring that the girl fight in the movie is the most intense girl fight ever. And the director and the women involved are of course proud. It is "refreshing" that women are now central to the action. They don't have to sit on the sidelines anymore wearing next to nothing. Now they can get into the action and pulverize one another.

Iron Man 3 is also praised for its portrayal of woman. Again, I have not seen that movie either, though at some point I probably will. But this article in the magazine "Wired" says, 

Consider that the genius in Iron Man 3 who creates a powerful—indeed, perhaps too powerful—form of technology capable of changing the world isn’t Tony Stark; it’s Maya. And the hero who ultimately saves the day by taking out the bad guy in smash-em-up physical confrontation isn’t Tony Stark; it’s Pepper Potts. Sure, Tony Stark and the Mandarin are ostensibly the hero and the villain, but if you look at the things that people actually do rather than where the camera happens to focus, the female characters are the ones who truly begin to shine.

So in Iron Man 3 we have a female scientist who creates some form of powerful technology and we have the eye candy, Pepper Potts, who beats up the bad guy. 

The catechism question these movies are asking is: What can a woman be? The answer is: be a sex toy or be a man. Wear a bikini, wear a gun, wear a business suit, but most certainly do not wear an apron. You were made to be used by a man or to act like a man. Where are the mothers, I mean real mothers with children, in modern movies? Where are the faithful wives who love their husbands?  They are conspicuous by their absence. When is the last time you watched a major movie where motherhood is a virtue?  When was the last time you watched a movie with a husband and wife who love each other and love their children. I know there may be little movies that do have faithful mother characters. But let's not be naive. A vast majority of movies that come out today do not even have a mother in them. The women are either professionals or someone to be bedded or fighters. Hollywood has effectively killed motherhood as a vocation for women. 

Our wives and daughters need to be aware that their fundamental calling has been completely rejected by the media. Fathers, pastors, and husbands need to encourage the women in their care to be faithful to God in that calling and not buy the lie that motherhood is a waste.