Recently
I read an article by Tracy Keen about homeschooling girls. The article argued that there is a “disturbing trend” in homeschooling where
young girls are forced to grow up too fast. The article made some good points.
The dangers she mentions are ones that any homeschooling family should think
and pray through. But the article was not very clear at certain points and thus
produced some “yeah, but” moments as I read.
Some of this might be due to the nature of a short article and the fact
that we run in different circles. However, I still thought it good to clarify
some points. You will not understand my points thoroughly if you do not read
her post. I would encourage you to do that then come back here. I do not know Mrs. Keen and have never read her before. So this is simply and interaction with this article and not an attack on her.
Mrs.
Keen's thesis is stated thus, “too many
young girls in the Christian world are also losing out on their childhood
innocence as their parents push and prod them to mature faster than they are
ready.” She then goes on to give four specific examples; girls are being
given too much responsibility at a young age, they dress like their mothers,
they cannot talk with their peers, and they are being called on to teach older
women about running their homes when they themselves have not run a home. She
closes by saying,
“Girls raised in
Christian homes need to be free to still be innocent, fun-loving children,
tweens, teens, and then young women. If the heart of your daughter has truly
been changed by Christ and she is given the time she needs to mature as a
result of your Godly training, you will begin to see her develop into a
Godly young woman
first and then on to a Godly woman.”
There are several good points in
the article.
First, we should be careful about
crushing our daughters under duties that only a grown woman is supposed to
have. We need to pay attention to their development and pray how best we can
help them grow in godliness. This is especially true of large families with
daughters. There is a temptation to keep
piling on.
Second, it is a great point that
younger women should not be teaching older women on topics that older women
have experience on. This would include
parenting, homeschooling, etc. I agree this trend is bad. There are topics
young ladies may be able to lecture on that older women could benefit from. But
this should certainly be the rare exception. The young ladies in our communities should be
content to sit under, listen to, and learn from the older women at their church
and in their homeschooling community. Moms should also be content for their
daughters to do that and not push them to the podium too quickly.
Third, there is a danger of making
our daughters into trophies for the world to admire instead of tools for Christ
to use. This is a danger in any environment with high standards.
Of course, that does not mean we drop high standards. It means we pray for and
cultivate humility in our daughters and teach our daughters dependence upon
Christ’s shed blood and not their own labors.
Fourth, a daughter does need
freedom to develop godly individuality. A daughter is to be modest, but this does not
mean she must dress just like mom or act just like mom. It is a temptation for
moms to make daughters in their own image. However, what if the daughters are imitating mom
because they love her and not because mom is squishing their individuality? If
a mother is keeping the daughter on too short a leash this should be addressed.
But just because a daughter dresses like mom does not mean the mom is being too
heavy-handed.
Here are some points of
clarification or disagreement.
