Here is a follow up to last week's post. It is directed mainly to married couples. I will address singles later this week or next week.
How do we fight the idolization of sex?
1. Worship
the living God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Believe that only He can provide everlasting satisfaction and joy. Bow
down before God and you will be less tempted to bow before sex.
2. Remember
sex is intended to be act of love between a man and woman married to each other.
The point of sex is not so you can experience something, though this will
certainly happen. The point is to give. That is what love is. Again, C.S.
Lewis, “Say your prayers in a garden early, ignoring steadfastly the dew, the
birds and the flowers, and you will come away overwhelmed by its freshness and
joy; go there in order to be overwhelmed and, after a certain age, nine times
out of ten nothing will happen to you.”
His point is that if we do something primarily to have a certain experience
then what we will often be disappointed. But if we go to do what we are
supposed to do then we will often be satisfied.
So too with sex.
3. Sex
is a gift from God. Like any gift it
must be used to love God and to love our neighbor. These two commands put
fences around our sex life. Any act or thought which does not love God or love
my spouse is sin.
4. Sex
is a gift from God. Sex is to be enjoyed within the bounds of the marriage bed.
Sex is not evil or wicked or perverse. The idolization of sex will not be
defeated by treating sex as dirty or bad.
5. Sex
is a gift from God designed for certain purposes, including conceiving
children, providing pleasure, protecting one’s spouse from temptation, and
making a man and woman one flesh. It is not designed to provide a
transcendental, spiritual experience. It is not the pinnacle of human
experience. It was not supposed to give you some dramatic encounter with God. As
Mrs. Elizabeth Elliott said, “Sometimes sex is a sandwich. Sometimes it is a
steak.” If you can’t enjoy sex as a sandwich then sex has become an idol.
6. Beware
the danger of always wanting more from your sex life. Beware of the slow
creeping lie that there is something better and if you just do this or buy that
or watch this then you can have a better sexual experience. Pull that weed up
immediately and learn to be content with what God has given you.
7. Beware
comparing your sex life with someone else’s.
Most of us have seen numerous examples of sex on screen or read about
sexual experiences in books or magazines. The temptation is to compare our sex
life with what we have seen or read. To put it mildly, this is devastating to a
real, enjoyable sex life. It does not matter what the world or other people are
doing in their beds. Enjoy your spouse.
Make love with her/him without a single thought for the expectations of
the outside world. You will be happier.
8. Be
content with what you have. This is the positive side of numbers 6 & 7. Unless something is not working physically,
your sex life is just fine and your spouse is just fine. The grass is not
greener.
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